The Daddy, Daughter Bond

All dad’s should have a little girl.  The day our daughter was born the bond between her father and her was made out of deep soul piercing love.  Her first moments of life went like this–”air, towel, scream,  bath, scream, prick, scream,  blanket, mom, pause, then rushed off….breathing… ….breathing….too much breathing….i’m having trouble…mom…mom where are they taking me, oh no breath, oh no…

Her first breaths didn’t come easy.  How quickly we forget how important a breath can be, until a newborn fights to take one.  She laid there scarred, cold, and helpless.  They picked & probed her with needles.  She laid there wondering who had held her for 9 months and 1 week.  Why she needed to leave that place and come to this one.  She had bruises, rashes from bandaids, lights, and a plastic tent around her.  All mom could do was wish I could have brought that little Angel into a calmer world, I would have given her my breath.

All of the fear that mother and child was having was taken away by one man.  Her father.  He held the only part of her body that wasn’t attached to wires, her feet.  He kept them warm with his loving touch.  He made sure she knew she wasn’t alone.  He told her without words that he would stand by her side as she crossed the biggest milestone in her life “breathing”.  As she fought for breath he reassured her that she could do it.  He stayed calm.  She knew that he was her dad, she couldn’t say thank you yet, but curled her toes to say she needed him.  2 hours later she fell asleep and A proud father came walking into the recovery room, and then took care of mom.

Dad had no idea that he was forming a special bond with his princess as he rubbed her feet that night.  When we think of love, we often think of it in the forms of hugs and kisses, flowers, and cards.  Our daughter didn’t need any of that to feel the love her father had for her.  All she needed wanted was the most basic of  all emotions.  His presence, his calm heart, his total entanglement in her, and his trust.  He worked with the doctors along side mom to calm her heart so she would breath at an acceptable pace.  Once she was ready to be on her own the nurses handed her over to mom & dad so we could start building that bond….little did Dad know but he was about to be wrapped around the smallest finger he had ever seen.

She hopped right into bed with dad.  The man who said no way to co-sleeping….here he was less than an hour after she left the NICU sleeping in an uncomfortable cot with his princess under his arm.  That proud father look across his face.

Dad didn’t sleep a wink, but he let the lights turn off and his little princess tuck her tiny body in between his arm and his blankets.  He didn’t move for fear of waking her, he kept her once again protected, calm, and safe.   In less than 3 days she had us convinced that a higher power had something big in store for us.  God spoke to us through Mary Rose.  He told us breath can easily be overlooked, but don’t overlook it.  You have been given many tools, don’t take them for granted.  Use your tools for great things, even if those things aren’t praised daily.  Spend you time with the ones who need your time the most.  Push yourself to move, even when you don’t want to.  Believe that “he” will be there to catch you as you fall.  God held us all those first days of her life, he nurtured us and gave us all strength.  Michael knew what was important that day, he had learned it through his faith.  His faith had kept his heart calm, so she could be calmed.  His faith was transferred into words as he said “hail mary’s” right before she entered this world.  Now God’s gift to Michael in return for his faith was a bond stronger than any friendship.  A bond that only God could forge.  The Daddy, Daughter Bond.

She can only show it in small ways now, but I expect he will many times throughout the rest of her life be the one who calms her heart.

My Daddy, Daughter Bond is many years ahead of Mary Rose’s.  Same love, same bond, same experiences.  He took care of me when I was sick, clapped as I succeed, got me back up when I failed, hurt when I hurt, fought when I tried to fight back, let me find out for myself, wouldn’t let me find out for myself, cooked, worked, fixed, gave, taught, scared boys away, helped me choose the right paths,friends, and gave me the tools I needed to become the women I am today.

My father means the world to me.  He has seen things in me, that I never would have embraced if it hadn’t been for him.  He taught me that patience and persistance is important when you begin any journey. Most recently I have learned from him that you can work a lifetime, but that work if it is paid in monatary is worthless.  The only work worth getting paid for is put into your family.  As a child he was my hero, as a teenager he was my opponent, and as an adult he has become my hero once again.

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