Time to Recharge my Zen……….
My energy has been divided into 3 things lately besides the obvious 35% work, 35% school, 35% sleep, 5% emotion. I would like to grow up quicker mentally, so maybe it would catch up with my body. Unfortunately they have yet to find each other. Every once and awhile my emotions seem to get the best of my because my go getter “roll with the punches attitude” has dissolved with my every growing body. I suppose you could say i had to get rid of some of my ideals to make room for acceptance.
I saw myself exploring the west, now I am interviewing pediatricians and taking advice from other new moms. I think anyone who runs into a life changing event changes themselves with the event. Its funny how ignorant people can be…..an example would be ” Oh my gosh did you see her?! She looks so different…” no one stops to think maybe life took over for awhile while that person sat inside hoping everything would take care of itself because obviously planning step by step for life is for the birds.
I need to remind myself every so often of my favorite things about this world. I found this poem in my blackberry I must have wrote it while enjoying the peacefulness of a morning in the woods, its not edited but I thought it would give you some insight of what I enjoy most in life besides the obvious:
” I have been many beautiful places across America, but unlike most I prefer to stay in a tent versus a hotel. The thrill of sleeping with nature is invigorating. The thin lining of fabric is not worth the time it took to put it up when your nested between trees and wilderness. It is mainly there for piece of mind. I have found my inner strength as I rafted down the Wolf river. I have stayed on Indian reservations and found myself longing for the simplicity of their lifestyle as they catch minnows for a living. I watched a helpless friend depend on my leech detaching skills to save her leg:) After learning making a fire is a skill I had not acquired yet in Devils Lake I was left to be memorized by an unexpected meteor shower in complete darkness. Braved the swarms of mosquito’s and horse flies to swim in a perfectly placed lake in the deep upper woods of Michigan. Minnesota has the most adoring loon calls over beauty lake. Gazing up at millions of stars from the dock makes the cold disappear. More recently I have taken my adventures West to the Colorado Rockies coming from the land of prairies I was bewildered by the loudness of each still mountain. There are some places that are not meant to be captured by a photograph…”
I need a dose of the wilderness as soon as possible, because this world is much more chaotic than the stillness of trees during the day and star gazing at night.
Mother and Baby are doing great:) We had a few bumps along the way and we are struggling to get through a cold that has lingered since before Christmas. Only a few more weeks until I met my gift from God and I still need to spend some time getting used to all the changes. I am going to try hard to remain the same, and not become a house wife. I want to be a mother first then worry about the cleaning. I hope my baby and I are able to make the incredible journey to each other as peacefully as possible. If we can just take some time out each day to smell the flowers, leave the weeds, and laugh at the little things I think we will make it.
